Well, since you asked…


My name is Conner McCrillis, and I am the fastest woman alive.

Look, this is my “about” page and I’ll give you lies if I want to. Just kidding, that will be the last one. Maybe.

Ironically, for a writer who produces content based solely from her own personal life, I don’t talk about myself much. I’m not one to usually divulge any more intimate information than I’m explicitly asked, but for you, I’ll make an exception.

The writing bug bit me earlier than I can remember, but like all of the greats I still have my hands on my origin stories: undated composition books full of crucial philosophy from my time as a chubby, white, private school attending small city girl. These include writing of anywhere from heartbreaking lyrics about the boy from my private school class who couldn’t possibly understand why I was in so love with the live-action version of Peter Pan (circa 2003) to two whole notebooks I filled in when I was 10, written in all cursive with gel pen, double spaced, detailing the 8th grade adventures of a class full of girls, one of which (Vanessa) who actually could read minds.



Yes, “funner” is actually a word. Yes, I numbered every page.


And ever since, Chuck Palahniuk won’t leave me alone about getting it published. Really!

Now here we are; I’ve gone from writing about telepathy to the end goal I always dreamed of: telling people what to do. Thus, The Hustle Queen was born. Now, I’ve been a couple of places during this timeline, including opening an Etsy shop:




To promptly not being able to stop talking about my Etsy shop:



To here, living in a reality where I am somehow allowed to have my own “about” page, on my own website, where I can finally detail, extensively, my incredible and undying love for 2003 Peter Pan.

The truth is, I want to call myself a lot of things that may include being an entrepreneur, a writer, a comedian limited to one terrible joke per day, an Etsy seller, telepathic wannabe…

But none of those feel quite right, like they don’t quite fit the bill. So for now, I guess I’ll say that I am me. I am Conner, and I am a hustler. And while I may not be the fastest woman alive, you making it to the end of this “about” page at least makes me feel like the luckiest woman alive.